It’s been a while since I’ve even had the time to sit down and type. Not sit down and think, since there’s been lots of that (even if the sitting down was in the driver’s seat of a pick-up truck, carrying stuff back and forth between two places … that counts too, doesn’t it?)
And all that moving back and forth might just be the reason for the disorientation. I’ve joked around with friends over the last few days that, should big life changes happen, they should happen simultaneously like they did to me.
And what I mean is: the move away from 3131 Alameda would have been (it is, as we speak) hard to swallow in and of itself. Leaving the place you’ve grown to love over the last 5 years is a hard thing to do, all the memories of the people, the parties, the possibilities that magic location nearby the Stanford campus allowed us. Allowed me. It is hard.
Add to that leaving a job that challenged you over the last 7+ years, where you’ve felt right at home with the people as well as the mission statement. Add to that leaving it on pretty somber circumstances.
Add to that the fact that you might as well be looking to find what it is that will give meaning to the next phase in your life.
Add to that the fact that you have no idea what it is.
Disoriented might be a good word to describe the feeling.