Gone (?)

Title of a Ben Folds song. But, of course.

No, it is not quite as bad as that, but I feel a faint bit of empathy with the words and feelings portrayed in the song. So sue me.

Or is it remorse? Read on …

I can’t sleep. I’ve been trying for 20 minutes and my mind is racing, which is the best indicator that I should do what I’ve done … pick up the laptop and jot down the reasons why that is.

Last night I didn’t have such problems sleeping, so it must have been something that happened today. Right? Well, let’s stop beating around the bush … of course I know what it is. She’s dating again.

It’s been well over 4 months since we broke up. It was going to happen sooner or later and given the ways of the breakup, this should have actually not meant any sort of episode for me, right? Wrong. I feel it. I feel another “of the good ones” slipping by. With one of my friends, of all people.

Of course it could have been easier had it been some faceless person that she had gone on two dates with. But here I am, wondering why the two dates have come so close together (an almost back-to-back Friday-then-Monday combo) when all I should be feeling is relief that we won’t be having hour-long conversations about how it could have worked out after all.

Yes, we did have one of those. Recently. Two weeks is recently, no? Maybe we’ve had two of them, who knows …

Well, there you go. The song is Gone by Ben Folds:

And I will consider you gone

I know that you went straight to someone else
While I worked through all the shit here by myself
And I think that you should spend some time alone
But if you won’t, then you won’t

Now don’t get me wrong. The lyrics in the song don’t even come close to resembling the situation at hand. But I can definitely say that in the smallest of ways I can relate to the feeling of loss that one experiences when hearing about somebody they got close to starting a new relationship. Maybe only the first time around. Maybe only when they’re the first to go out with somebody. But I feel it. I feel a lost opportunity to make somebody happy and feel happy in return.

What was the Beautiful Girls quote? IMdb doesn’t have it … something about how one does not come upon a decision when faced with the prospect of loss. You catch my drift, I am sure.

Well, on with the show. Let’s hope it works out for them, and if it doesn’t^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H

Good night!

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